Awkward part of being 21

I am at an age where it is really awkward to call myself an adult or a child.

Like most 21 year olds, I am a college student making next to nothing.

I have had trouble deciding if I am an adult or child at times. This is what I mean by the awkward part of being 21. 

You are given a lot of freedom once you step on the college campus of your choosing. No longer living with your parents and playing by their rules, to me this is weird. This is weird to me because yeah you are living “alone” , but you still need your parents to help support you, especially if you don’t have time for a job. As a freshman I wasn’t too concerned about how I was getting my next meal. I had a sorority house I belonged to at the time that would make an abundant amount of food and provide snacks, so I was set. I also had a plan on my college ID card that allowed swipes for food. Since I no longer live on a campus, a few things have changed. I quit the sorority I was in, got an internship and an apartment off campus. 

I like to think I wear many hats and constantly stay busy.

I am a full time student as well as having an internship that requires long hours with no pay, but college credit. Even though I am 21 and can decide what I want to do, I still get an allowance from my parents. So am I a child or an adult? Or am I both? Is that even possible? These are the questions I ask myself. I have to make my allowance last for a whole month which shouldn’t seem like a big deal since I get a very nice amount. Since I am now an adult child, though, I have realized how expensive things really are. I not only have to feed myself, but I have to feed my car too. With the internship I have, at times, it requires me to drive to a location. I am a reporter so I must go where the news is. I could probably make my allowance last longer if I stayed at home more, but with the culture of my school and temptations of friends, I go out. Therefore, spending money on cover charges for the bars as well as an absurd amount for drinks. Oh! Don’t forget about the ridiculously overcharged Uber rides.   

I am currently doing an amazing internship in Los Angeles, which I have loved every second of. Like I mentioned before, I am realizing how expensive things truly are, especially in California where goods cost almost double of what they would in other states. I spend $90 on gas alone, to me that is crazy but just how it is out here. The awkward part about being out here is while yes, I am being paid, my parents are paying my rent. I live off of my income for groceries, gas, Ubers, experiences, etc. It is super nice and I am very thankful my parents pay my rent because holy cow it’s a a lot of money.    

I only have a year left of college and recently it’s been giving me horrible anxiety because legit in one year I should have a full-time job with benefits.

I don’t even know what I am eating for dinner tonight. I hope I am not the only one that is starting to stress about job hunting. Many people ask me what my plans are after I graduate and to be honest, I am not entirely sure. What I do know is that I obviously will get a job, but I have no idea what city I will be in. I do also know that I want to be a reporter and anchor, I just have no idea where or when. 

In conclusion, I have decided this is the awkward part of being 21 and I am totally an adult child. I hope that I am not the only one going through this weird phase.